Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Sons of a Mother

Things I've recently said which I know mothers of daughters would never say:

1. DO NOT go down the slide with a drill in your hand!

2. Yes, scissors cut underwear too.

3. DO NOT, under any circumstances, wipe your nose on my sleeve!

4. Hands out of pants, NOW!

5. NO, peeing on the driveway under the Yukon DOES NOT hide your pee.

6. That's the dogs' water bowl; not their pee bowl. (Notice a theme here?)



And I'm quite sure the cards given by daughters on Mother's Day did not include:

Nate, 4 years old

A monster with bombs. It wasn't entirely clear if the bombs were coming from me or the monster; we know it wasn't Nate because part of the picture included his leg getting hit by a bomb. As you can see, he scribbled over the flower his Dad drew for him.

Gabe, 7 years old

Mom driving a robot while taking on a tank. Clearly I'm a woman of many talents, even if it isn't clear who's shooting whom.

Jake, 6 years old

Mom rescuing Jake. This one's complicated. That's Mom with the wild hair and crazy smirk saving Jake from being electrocuted by the robot. Apparently, Mom is using multiple mirrors to bounce lasers back at the robot, who is about to explode. Oh yeah, and that's Wall-e just passing by.


I imagine mothers and daughters spent last Sunday in matching dresses, exchanging flowers and butterfly-adorned cards. But I'll tell you, I'd fight any battle necessary for these boys.

12 comments:

Carolee said...

Ok, literally laughed out loud on this one. I love that he actually colored out the flower... it's scary how much I can relate.

leigh said...

I have been wanting to do a post about pee and how it invades my life and house. Thank you for letting me know that you have the same issues.

And - if you want to order something from me, I'll extend your sale terms (since you and Sara were the only ones who even took me up on it.) Email me: leighlou5 (at) gmail (dot) com

sara said...

I am laughing so hard right now! Those cards are hilarious. I feel like Noah's missing out on all the pee and robots; being the only boy (kid) around here he has little choice but to draw rainbows...

Kristin said...

I love it!!! Wish mine were that creative.

Lauren in GA said...

I am not lying...tears are streaming down my cheeks from the laughter. I so get this post.

Who knew Wall-e would just be an innocent bystander and not stop to help you in your defense.

Boys rule!

Cook Crew said...

Those boys are awesome. Do you think Daniel had anything to do with the theme or is he feigning innocence here? I have a daughter who will one of two things..
1. Boss the boys into drawing pink princesses and fairies and such.
or
2. Be a complete tomboy and be into all the boys toys and NEVER do anything girlie.
It could totally go either way.

April said...

Great cards!! :)

Ruthykins said...

oh my heck! those are so awesome! i love the flower.

cooksonclan said...

Hi Laurie,

I love the way you write & always enjoy your postings about motherhood, craziness....life in general! :) I was giggling quite loudly and I want you to know that you are not alone! I too, had a proud, free pee-er! I caught Scott outside the sliding glass door...peeing on it! The effect was like being in a car wash! He also peed through the chainlink fence on the neighbors old, deaf dogs! He really made me proud of the glistening, yellow arched stream he could make standing on top of our tent trailer for all the passing motorist to see! :) I am proud to say..... he outgrew it, but it sure is good for a laugh now! :)

Erika said...

Let's swap for a week and see how it goes. girls for boys? you in?

Jessica said...

You couldn't have a better blog if you scripted it beforehand. I can't believe those pictures.

Anonymous said...

I can't wait for those kind of cards from my boys! I love that they all think you are a SuperMom and can take on anything and everything!!